lbeethoven's love

Presentation
The letter, found after Beethoven's death at the same time as "Heiligenstadt's Testament" is made up of two double pages, written on both sides, (8 pages), of about 200 x 238 mm and on a single sheet of about 201 x 119 mm both sides. Therefore a total of 10 pages.
The letters were written in pencil. Careful analysis shows that certain words have been gone over again in pencil, in an attempt to make them more legible, without doubt by Anton Schindler, who used part of the letter in facsimile in the third edition of his biography of Beethoven.
The pages were numbered by Schindler, as well as an attempt at the crossing out of "Oh geh mit, geh mit" (literally, "oh come with" meaning "come with me" or "accompany me").
Two stamps can be seen at the tops of pages 1 and 5 which are the marks of Berlin Library.

The Lettres to the Immortal beloved
1July 6In the morning-
My angel, my allmy self - only a fewwords today, and indeed with pencil(with yours)only tomorrow is my lodging positively fixedwhat a worthless wasteof time on such - whythis deep grief, wherenecessity speaks -can our love exist butby sacrificesby not demanding everythingcan you change it, that younot completely mine. I am notcompletely yours - Oh God
2look upon beautiful natureand calm your soulover what must be - lovedemands everything and completely with good reason.so it is for me with you, for youwith me - only you forgetso easily, that I must live for myself andfor you, werewe wholly united, you wouldfeel this painfulnessjust as little as I -
my trip was frightful.I arrived here only at 4 o'clock yesterday morning.because they lacked horses,the postal service chose another route but what a
3horrible way, at the next to the last station they warned me about traveling at night, made me afraid of a forest, but this only provoked me - and I was mistaken, the coach had to break down on the terrible route, a mere bottomless country road [crossed out: and the] without 2 such postil-lions as I had, I would have been stranded on the way
Esterhazy on the other customary route here had the same fate with 8 horses, as I with four - still I had some pleasure again.
4as always, whenever I fortunately survive something - now quickly to interior from exterior. we will probably see each other soon. even today I cannot convey to you observances, which I made during these few days about my life - were our hearts always close together, I would of course make none of the sort my heart is full of much to tell you - Oh - there are still moments when I findthat speech is nothing at all - cheer up - remain my faithful only treasure, my all, as I for you the rest the gods must send what must and should be for us -- your faithful ludwig -
5Monday evening on July 6 -
You are suffering you my dearest creature - just now I notice that letters must be posted very early in the morning. Mondays - Thursdays - the only days on which the mail goes from here to K - you are suffering -Oh, wherever I am, you are with me. I say to myself and to you, arrange that I can live with you. what a life!!!! as it is!!!! without you - Persecuted by the kindness of people here and there, which I think - I want to deserve just as little as I deserve it - Humility of man to man - it pains me - and when I regard myself
6in the framewoek of the universe what am I and what is he - whom one calls the Greatest - and yet - herein is again the divine spark of man - I weep when I think that you will probably not receive the first news of me until Saturday - as much as you love me - I love you even more deeply but - but never hide yourself from
7me - good night - as one bathing I must go to sleep [struck out: o go with] [struck out: go with --]so near! so far! is not our love a true heavenly edifice - but also firm, like the firmament - good morning on July 7 - while still in bed thoughts thrust themselves toward you my eternally beloved now and then happy then again sad. awaiting fate. if it will grant us a favorable hearing - I can only live either wholly with you or not at all.
8yes I have resolved to stray about in the distance, until I can fly into your arms and call myself entirely at home with you. can send my soul embraced by you into the realm of spirits - yes unfortunately it must be - you will compose yourself all the more since you know my faithfulness to you, never can another own my heart, never - never - O God why have to separate oneself, what one loves so, and yet my life in V [ienna] as it is now is a miserable life - Your love makes me the most happy and the most unhappy at once - at my age I would need some conformity regularity of life - can
9this exist in our relationship? -- Angel, right now I hear that the mail goes every day - and I must therefore close, so that you will receive the L [etter] immediately - be calm, only through quiet contemplation of our existence can we reach our goal to live together - be patient -love me - today - yesterday - What longing with tears for you - you - you my
10love - my all - fare-well - o continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved L forever yours forever mine forever us